Letting Go
by Charlotte Clark
Summary: Support Stacie winner- What if Sookie turned to Eric the night Bill admitted the true reason behind his returning to Bon Temps? A retelling of Definitely Dead...


**Here is the 2nd story for Miss tvgirl_nicole! Yup- she bought me up, both of my offerings from the Support Stacie Auction!!! She is so fabulous, her generosity was fantastic!**

**Miss SouthernLady23 worked her Beta magic on this story- she is just wonderful! If you see a mistake, it is all me.**

**So- this is another 'What If' story... What if Eric was there to comfort Sookie the night Bill admitted his true intentions in coming back to Bon Temps? What if.......**

SPOV-

The waiting was unbearable. The voices of the injured people in the emergency room assaulted my mind, causing me to wince from the pressure. I was willing to take the pain from the deep, ghastly bite on my arm over the noise of all these people. It was coming at me from every direction. Men, women, children, doctors and nurses- all of them were thinking, and thinking loudly.

"May I come in?" His voice instantly soothed my nerves and I didn't need to turn around to know who's voice it was.

"Yes," I whispered as I noticed the internal battle he was experiencing from being inside the emergency room. "What on earth are you doing here in town, Eric?" I found my voice and couldn't help but notice how unsettled he actually looked.

I listened for a while as he drummed on about bargaining with the queen for the number of people he could take to the vampire summit, and the use of my services. I was in pain and scared, and I was not in any mood to put up with Eric and his poorly disguised excuses.

"Leave me alone, okay? You don't have a claim on me. Or a responsibility to me." I was tired and really was just looking for some type of pain medication at this point in time. I won't lie, the idea of wanting a little taste of Eric's blood did enter my mind.

"But I do. We have a bond. I've had your blood, when you needed strength to free Bill in Jackson. And we've made love often, according to you." According to me; the words hurt, I desperately wanted Eric to remember our time together, but at the same time, I prayed he would always be in the dark.

"You _made_ me tell you." I paused, realizing I couldn't argue the point he had made. "How'd you get here, anyway?" Change of subject- excellent idea.

Eric rambled on about the queen monitoring her city and the goings on that entailed. He mentioned offering me moral support, and I couldn't help the slight laugh which escaped my mouth.

That was the thing with Eric and I, we could always be comfortable together. It was easy and nice. He always made me feel important, even when he was being, 'Eric'. I let my mind shuffle through many images of how Eric could offer me moral support. Yup, even suffering a deep vamp bite and in pain, I still had the hots for him. I realized I was happy he was here to see me.

I was suddenly pulled out of my happiness coma when I heard Bill's cold, panicked voice. He gave a less than formal greeting to Eric and turned his attention to me. How the hell do all these vamps find me, even when I'm shut up in a hospital?

I watched the exchange between Bill and Eric, and became painfully aware there was something more going on than what I was seeing. Eric glared at Bill like he was his mortal enemy, and in return, Bill avoided Eric's stare, looking on edge and nervous.

I looked between the two vampires, uncomfortable with both of them being in the same room with me. I hated knowing the two men I had made love with were here, and apparently having a silent conversation.

I looked from Eric to Bill, and Bill to Eric. I felt as though I was watching a tennis match, my head was turning so much. I looked at them, really looked at them. Bill just looked tired and scared, but Eric looked sad, almost pensive. I had never seen Eric look so solemn- it unnerved me.

The two men had words regarding my physical state, and then Eric looked at Bill in a way which caused him to take a step back.

"I quite understand why you want to keep Sookie isolated while she's in New Orleans." Eric sounded angry, the slight accent he still carried became more pronounced. Bill was definitely uncomfortable.

"What?" I had enough of this macho, territorial crap. I wanted answers and I wanted them immediately.

"Ask him why he came back to Bon Temps, Sookie." The tone in his voice caused my heart to ache. Whatever this big reveal was, it was going to hurt. Eric's eyes met mine, and I thought I saw something like pity and despair flash through the gorgeous blue.

In my mind, I rattled off the reason Bill came back. Old Mr. Compton dies, he was reclaiming his family land...

Eric turned his back to us and I knew it was because he didn't want to see the pain on my face. The big, bad Viking couldn't stand to see me when the truth finally came out- it was worse than I thought.

"Sookie..." Bill's voice broke the palatable silence. I watched him as he recounted his tale of being ordered to seek me out. I shook my head violently, not wanting to hear anymore. His tale didn't stop...every last detailed came out. My breathing was just below hyperventilating, the tears filled my eyes, threatening to spill down my cheeks.

It was a lie, every moment, every kiss ever shared between me and Bill was a lie! My heart was shattering as the enormity of the lie sunk in. I had been seduced by a monster, a hired hand! The emotional pain superseded the physical pain coming from my arm. It was too much, all of it.

"Get out," I choked, unable to make my voice stronger than I wanted.

He begged me to allow him to finish, but there was nothing more I needed to hear, or could handle for that matter.

"I never want to see you again, ever in my life...ever." My voice spilled out in a whisper. He had taken everything from me- everything.

Bill turned around and walked silently out of the room, leaving me reeling from his admission. Eric stood as still as could be, not speaking. I couldn't handle his gloating right now, this was not about him.

He reached behind him and touched my leg, letting me know he was there for me. I was thankful he couldn't see me, but as he left, I'm sure I saw a bloody tear stain his perfect, white face.

I felt like I was trapped in the tiny, curtained room. I couldn't breathe, I couldn't stand it anymore. I don't know how I managed to do it, everything was a blur, but I fled the confines of the hospital, broken more now than when I first got there.

I stumbled on to the street, completely aware of how alone I was. I was in a strange city, no friends and no family- nothing.

A homeless man asked me for money, and I lost my composure. I screamed as loud as I could about not having anything. My outburst caused the drifter to step back, clearly afraid of my mental state.

"I Have Nothing!" I screamed, almost shrieking. "See, I never had anything to start with." I said, my voice returning to a normal level.

I stumbled away, unsure of where I was actually heading. A shadow in the distance didn't even frighten me, in fact, I walked a little faster towards it.

"You do have something- you have me." The shadow spoke, and out of the darkness appeared Eric. "Sookie..." His voice was hoarse as he spoke to me.

"Not now, Eric. Can't you see I'm a little unhinged right now? Don't you get it? My life is nothing- I have no one. I have no family, no friends, I don't even have the memory of a man who once loved me. I guess we're both in the same boat when it come to that now, right? Eric, all of it was a lie..." Before I knew what was happening, Eric was wrapping his long, strong arms around my quivering body.

"Sookie, listen to me- you are not alone, you will never be alone." The conviction in his voice made me almost believe him.

"Please, I just want to go home." I cried into his chest as I felt him scoop me up into his arms.

We walked around the corner and soon Eric was flying us back to my dead cousins apartment. I was stable enough to invite him inside, knowing his presence was soothing my nerves.

He sat silently as I walked around in a zombie like haze. I got in the shower and watched as the dried blood from my arm, and the dirt from my feet, turned the clear, hot water murky. I wished it was as easy to wash away the pain as it was to wash away the dirt and blood.

After I got out of the shower and got dressed, I walked out of the bathroom and found Eric, still sitting silently on the couch. I walked directly past him and threw my bloodied clothes out the window. The exposed bite on my arm was still oozing blood, and I'm sure some type of infection would soon set in.

I plopped myself down next to Eric and looked at his face. He looked eerily similar to 'my Eric', the Eric who stayed with me in January. It caused my heart to hurt even more, I truly lost everything.

"Sookie, I truly regret the pain I have caused you..." I couldn't handle hearing him apologize to me. I cut him off and started to get all riled up again.

"Don't. Just don't say anything. I don't want your pity and I certainly don't want your mock caring. I've been told enough lies tonight, please don't add more fuel to the fire." He actually looked hurt, but didn't say anything. He just nodded his head in acceptance.

"My God! I saved him...I rescued him! I killed for him, Eric, I killed for him because I thought he loved me!" I was getting back to hysterical. The sobs tore through my body. "Oh my God! I killed someone for _him."_

Eric moved closer to me, tentatively placing his hand on my back. I knew he was doing this to help calm me down.

"He attacked me, he almost killed me in that trunk. He raped me in that car trunk and I was willing to forgive him, because he loved me." I felt Eric tense when the words escaped my mouth. I never told anyone what actually happened in the trunk. It was obvious Bill had almost drained me, but I never spoke of the way he took me without my consent.

"What did you just say?" The calm, strong way he asked me the question caused me to shiver. I just looked at him, unwilling to repeat what I had just said. "Sookie, tell me I heard you wrong. Tell me you did not just say he raped you." His eyes were begging me to take back the words I had spoken, but instead I turned my eyes to the floor, unable to look at him any longer.

"He took you, without your consent? He forced himself on you? I will kill him..." Eric was becoming as hysterical as me, and I have never seen him out of control.

"Eric, listen to me. It was a long time ago, and I'm fine. It could have been worse, please calm down." He got up and began pacing the apartment like a caged lion. "I never told anyone because I thought if I didn't say anything, it would be like it never happened."

"He raped you! Do you have any idea how hard it was to see you almost dead from being drained? But, to find out it was worse than I ever could have imagined! It was my job to protect you, it was my job to make sure nothing happened to you! How could this have happened?" Eric was beyond irrational. I got up and went to stand in front of him, even though I knew I was playing with fire.

"Don't make this about you. You couldn't have stopped what Debbie Pelt did. You couldn't have prevented me being locked in that trunk with him. You aren't a psychic, Eric! No one could have foreseen what happened!" I winced as I realized I had blood dripping down my arm. I quickly shot my head up and saw Eric's eyes dilating.

In a flash he was on his knees, lapping at the blood that oozed from my wound. His tongue gently caressed the bite, causing me to get lost in the erotic feeling he was bringing me. I was suddenly over my anger at Bill and was completely lost in the way Eric was touching me.

Before I could stop myself, I let my fingers weave into his hair as he cleaned my arm. The feeling of his soft, silky mane forced my mind into overdrive. Memories of our time together assaulted my brain, causing my arousal to kick up a notch.

I fell to me knee's in front of him, face to face with him and his lust. His eyes were glazed over and his lids were practically closed. He looked as sexy as I remembered him. Without any words, he crashed his mouth to my lips, wrapping his arms around my waist. I didn't hold anything back, I returned his kiss like it was the sustenance I had been missing for months. Everything that happened earlier in the day meant nothing. The pain from my injuries dissipated as I melted into his embrace. He had taken care of the bite, and I knew he would soon be taking care of my body. The only thing hurting me in that moment, was not having this man inside of me.

I moaned into his mouth, lost in the way he was touching me. I dragged my hands over his broad shoulders, loving the way I could feel his muscles tense with every move. I ripped at the fabric of his shirt, desperate to feel his smooth skin against mine.

His hands were everywhere and I couldn't keep track of the pace he was setting. My body burned as he dragged his tongue over my neck and my chest. I felt his fangs scrape against the soft flesh of my shoulder and I practically exploded right there.

"Eric, I need you- now. I need to feel something other than pain. Please..." I moaned into his ear as he tore my shirt from my body. I gasped at the violent motion of the fabric tearing, but quickly regained myself.

"Anything, I will do anything you ask of me." He kissed his way down my body, his loose hair tickling me as he made his descent. I giggled at the feeling, but soon felt something much less funny.

His fingers glided through my folds, testing my arousal. He slid one of his perfect fingers inside of me, causing me to shout his name.

"Sookie, you're so wet. I can't believe I don't remember this feeling, your scent, your beauty." He dropped his head to my center and drew his long tongue over my aching core. He was slow and methodical as he massaged me with his tongue.

I needed more, I needed the feeling of his weight on top of me. I needed the feeling of him being inside of me. I wanted to feel safe- I wanted to feel loved.

"Eric, more. I need to feel you inside of me. I need someone to love me...Eric, pretend you love me..." I pulled him up towards me, begging him to take me.

He placed himself above me and looked deep into my eyes as he brushed the hair away from my face.

"There is no need to pretend, lover. You have no idea what emotions you stir in me." He kissed me deeply and pressed forward, slowly entering me.

I felt complete as he filled me. I wrapped my legs around his waist and reveled in the feel of his body joined with mine. He didn't pull out of me, but stilled as he balanced above me.

"I just want to feel you. I want to commit every part of this to memory, I want to remember this feeling, this moment." His words caused me to choke out a sob. I felt a few tears slip down the sides of my cheek and wet my hair.

After what felt like forever, he began to move. It was pure ecstasy as he pulled all the way out, and gracefully slid back inside me. He kissed my shoulders and by chest, as he slowly thrust into me.

Every move he made was perfection, I was lost in the pleasure he was giving me. I needed him to quicken his pace, I wanted to feel the power I remember so clearly. I began thrusting my hips to meet his, causing him to moan my name and work faster.

"This is so right." He moaned into my mouth, causing me to nod in agreement.

"Oh, God! Eric, don't stop." I cried as he became more frenzied with his movements. I could feel the telltale burn starting in my belly and knew it wouldn't be long before I would be lost in pure bliss.

"I can't stop, I won't ever be able to stop. Ah, Sookie...so perfect." I could tell by the sound of his voice he was just as close as me. I pulled his face down to mine and kissed him, hard. As I broke the kiss I pushed his head towards my breast.

"Do it, bite me." I breathlessly begged him.

I watched as his mouth wrapped around my nipple and screamed in pleasure when I felt his fangs sink into the flesh. His eyes were locked with mine as he drew the blood into his mouth. The intensity in the way he was looking at me, was too much. I felt myself letting go, and could feel the warmth of my orgasm take over my body.

I shivered under his body, my hands fisting in his hair as I screamed his name. He watched me the entire time I came, mesmerized by my body's reaction. As soon as I was coming down from my climax high, he shifted our bodies, placing me on top of him.

He worked my hips, moving my body in a rhythm which would be impossible for me to do. His hips thrust upwards every time he pulled me down on him. The pleasure my body was feeling was indescribable. I had forgotten how incredible he could make me feel.

"Come again for me, lover. Come with me, now." He wrapped his arms around me and pressed his bare chest into mine. I couldn't stop the wave of pleasure that overtook me. I felt him swell inside of me and then sensed his cool release. He shouted my name over and over, as if he was chanting.

I collapsed into a heap of post coital goo on his chest, panting in order to try and breathe again. He wrapped his arms around me, kissing my head.

"Sookie, you know I'm going to kill him. I will never be able to look at him and not picture him forcing himself on you. You deserve better than what he did to you, and I will not be satisfied until he has been sent to his final death." I know I should have cared about his admission, but the pain from Bill's betrayal was too fresh, too new. I didn't beg him to reconsider, I just let him hold me on the floor.

I drifted off to sleep and when I woke up, we were in Hadley's bed. He was looking down at me as though he had seen a ghost. His face was paler than usual, his eyes boring into me.

"Eric, what is it? Are you alright?" I sat up and faced him.

He touched my face gently, ghosting his fingertips over my lips.

"Sookie, I remember everything."

***yup- I really did that!* : P**


End file.
